It is not unusual that a person has been struggling for some time with the issue they eventually sought coaching for. It means that somehow that person has been able to cope for a while with the situation. It means that there are some positive things, actions happening that render the situation more bearable.
With probing questions, a coach will help you identify these moments when the situation does not happen, is bearable. Recognising these exceptions to the troublesome situation will help you designing options of what you can do to improve the situation.
Recognising what is working is also a way of bringing some optimism and increase motivation to reach your goals.
So, when you encounter a difficult situation, ask yourself:
- When is the situation not happening?
- What is happening instead?
- What is different between the situation happening or not (mindset, location, people…)?
- What is working to prevent the situation?
- How can I do more of it?
- What seems to trigger the situation?
- How can I avoid the triggers materialising?
- What is the one step, action I will take next?
- When?
To you now and let me know in a comment how these questions change a situation you have been struggling with or something you want to improve.